Closure(Confessions-1) Poem by sticker mykes

whenever i wanted closure from you i only got silence, its totally killing me, i can live with it but you will wonder, and wonder, you are going away but you are forgetting that a storm is brewing somewhere out there, if you wont take the necessary precautions you wont survive out there, i can already hear the thunder and lightening.whats so romantic about rain? ? ? ? ? ? nothing, i think the sky is weeping, and the thunder is what the heart is suffering , it cant be described, why would you not listen to me, what will make you understand what i need, what i want and when i want and why i want, its all about me wanting, i waited quitely on you for such a long time, its almost a decade of waiting and pleasing you but you still arnt satisfied, who will satisfy you appetite, when will you say enough, i cant stand by you and wait on you, let me go, im suffocating, my life wasnt meant to be like this, there was some better meaning something better out there. my train left, i waited for you, i shouldnt have, that was my signal, i want to run, just run from it all, i dont know where but i just want to be swallowed by this earth, in the sa, in the desert, anywhere where thoughts cannot haunt you, not call you, not taunt you, dictate you, i want to wander in this abyss of nothingness, no one to be concerned of me, for once, just once cant this happen ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
the headache is not there but there is this humming, like a little childs lullabye,
i know what you want, aint going to get what you want,
cry and whine till the end of time,
i still know what you want, but you cant ever get what you want
it is sad, its all sad, happiness just seeps through all the baggage which i call my life.one boring tale followed by another, the vegetables of anger keep getting bigger and bigger, the dessert of greed and envy has never been sweeter, the meat of despair is rotting in the freezer that is my heart, but the fruits are fresh and ripe as they are my happiness, my life, the only thing all this is worth fighting for, ive never won anything in my life and i can bet on this one thread of hope to bring me out of it all, i just have to fight harder, and i guess i could bet it all
it is complex and since i never aced in math it can be a bit of a problem for me but puzzles is what im good at, so help me here grey matter :)