Tess Connor Poems

I remember when I was little daddy, I asked you what that was
You said “that’s not good for you”, daddy you said that just because
I have always looked up to you daddy, you were the bestest bloke
Until it occurred to me daddy, that a smoke is a smoke...
...

12 hours on studying my wrists carved with cuts
Shaking my head in utter disgust
Listening to a million thoughts rushing through my head
Removing the sheets of my blood stained bed
...

As bad as this is and as horrible as I feel
I just cannot get myself to heal
I’ve tried many times to stop this confusion
But the continuum of my life is just one big delusion
...

Resting my head in a bunch of towels, laying on the floor
The silence of a stir-less night, never felt so alone before
Forgetting what was said to me, forgetting what I’d done
Running away from all my fears, as fast as I could run!
...

I say I’m not scared of death, or afraid to die
But maybe I am and this is one big lie
If I weren’t scared, I wouldn’t be writing these things
I’d be out there with my razor doing myself in
...

I get a sudden jolt of energy when our eyes catch
The feeling of absolute certainty we are the perfect match
When you hold me close to you and I listen to your beat
I think the most wonderful thoughts and how to me you are so sweet
...

quitting feels so easy as I raise the lips
the kisses on my arms, they tickle and trickle
the warming and cooling sensation sets my smile
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Fast flowing blood, pumping through my veins
Slashing it free, releasing my inner pains
Blood trickling slowly, my eyes open wide
Troubles, confusion, no desire to stay alive
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When everyone turns their backs on me, when the world leaves me for dead
I recall all forbidden memories; try to remember what was said
All life’s lessons, all the rules, the things I’m meant to know
Somehow escape my muddled mind; fear and tension begin to grow
...

You see there is this guy, and I don’t know what to do
He’s fallen in love with me and I think I’m crushing on him too
But we live so distant, so far away, so apart from each other
And I don’t see him as a partner, more as a mate or as a brother
...