THE HOLY POET Poems

A screamer had silenced the whole of the pub
And the faces just dropped in our wee London club
It was the third time this season the old firm had met
And our goalie’s first job? Pick the ball out the net!
...

Flat caps, soft hats, trilbies even tammies
Shuffling in their thousands and none feared any rammies.
Kids with men, and women too, they took their pride of place,
These Celtic spirits highly charged and most were off their face!
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Will The Daily Ranger change its name, now its sporting parent's dead
Of course, I meant The Daily Hun, 'Rangers'' mate in bed
Let's speak about their journalists, the most delusional of fans
They're only guys who copy/paste from other rags at hand.
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Walking away's now mandatory or so my big mate says
And it seems the last have done just that, over Govan way
Whittaker's now with Norwich who'll face us at Paradise
Lafferty's with the yodelling Swiss and singing Edelweiss.
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Weehandsome. 27th June 2012.
(Aka Eddie Fitzgerald) .

He has the gift of seeing something when there's nothing there to see
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Before Sky invaded every home, our fans flocked to the pub
The pub was rammed, the drinks were tanned down at our wee club
A place to watch The Celtic and get to meet new friends
And although we've changed the venue, those friendships never end.
...

Born in sunny Govan, June Nineteen Thirty Eight
And just two hundred yards from home were Ibrox's wrought iron gates
Though he started out at Killie, he was loaned out to Rob Roy
At 15 years straight out of school, wee Joe was just a bhoy.
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They ate the famous fish and chips
With sauces and their chili dips
And now he's honoured them by name
They star in ads before the game
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Sally bought a burger bar, to boost The Rangers' fund
The Ibrox staple diet, aimed at those he thought rotund
With stakes in his beloved club, his life would be complete
But the steaks that he referred to, were slabs of bloody meat.
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On the south side of the city
Where the knuckle draggers roam
You can find them wandering after dark
Still looking for their home.
...