Alien Girl

You told me the song to play at your funeral
As if I can think that far ahead
I haven't even held your hand
or kissed your face
...

There are rules
That we need to follow
Left follows right
Day follows night
...

It's only my body
It's not who I am

But if I were to fall
...

I’m trying to cry but the tears don’t come
I hear the gunshot - the race started - but my legs won’t run
I’m trying to lie but can’t find the words
I’m trying to see but my vision is blurred
...

I will have to hit the bottom
So I can push off and swim to the top
I will have to let myself fall so far
To see where I really stand with you
...

I awoke last night
To the sound of crickets
And birds, which was strange
The kitchen faucet was dripping
...

They say that I am a fortunate one
The fortunate daughter of a poor mans son
That dwells in the city of angels unseen
Living in luxuries you’d never believe
...

I need you to know
That I’m not all talk anymore
I’ve stopped crying wolf
I’m waking out that door
...

You stood above his body
And made a promise then
To him
To me
...

Please don’t let me cry when I am with you
Please don’t let me die until I’m with you
Please don’t let this be the end of everything I know
God help me find my way to you to get me through
...

It was hard daddy
Getting off of these pills
I took it out on the cat
He’s hiding under the bed
...

I was thanked for my honesty today
A noble deed.
The truth unfolded
A validation of an honest woman
...

Why do you call me…when you know I can only cry.
Why try to explain when all you can really do is try
How can you believe in those things you say
like everything will be okay
...

Dear God,

I know that we have talked once before
I, in a fit of rage or in some sort of heated passion
...

Wash me clean of the past eight years
Wash me clean of all these tears
The regrets - pain - loneliness and fears
Smash my fist against this mirror
...

When I held your hand
You fell limp when I squeezed
No response to my warmth
No response to my need
...

Temptation I see you 
Standing there in front of me
Head cocked
Hips turned
...

If it's the money that your worried about
Well you know it comes easy

And if it's the whispers behind your back 
...