I want to go far and beyond
But cant
I want to be free
But I am contained
...
These racing thoughts in my head
Wont let me have peace in my own bed!
I just want to sleep
I just want to die.
...
Faith is a hard thing to come by
You only have but one chance in life,
To prove
...
My heart is somewhat like a jail.
Locks all my true feelings inside
So I can never say how I truely feel
It let me lie to others and to my self
...
If you knew my pain
If you knew my story
If you only understood my thought process..
Maybe then you would know why
...
Why does the world go on without me?
I want to catch up[ but it wont let me.
I am stuck in a never ending cycle,
I am still on phase one
...
Sitting
Face blank
Mind in the phase of nonreality
I cant stay
...
My life is not what it appears to be
I may look cool and I go hard
But on the inside
I hate life because I am in it.
...
Well, I have been cutting for 4 years and just starting writing like 2 years ago. Because I felt like no one else understood me if I talked. So I decided to start writing poetry so they could at least try to understand me. Also I felt like I had no body to talk to so I wrote to myself or pretended like the paper was a person and just wrote everything that was on my mind. And I felt like the world was off of my shoulders. And I loved to share so I could be inspiration to other people to let them know that they are not alone. I stopped for a while, and my life went down hill, I started cutting worse and worse and I shut down whenever someone tried to tak to me about my problems. I am now 15 years old and about to turn 16 in January... And I fell like everyone is against me and I dont know what to do...)
I Want To But Never Can
I want to go far and beyond
But cant
I want to be free
But I am contained
I want to complain outloud
But I will be judged
By people who are
Worse off in life than Iwill ever be
I want to be created
But I am rejected
I have discovered that life
There are boxes that
You have to fit, To be accepted
They draw a picture
Then they want to apply
But I want to be free
To be me
But they never want to see
What I amcoming to be
A demented human being
Trying to be what
Everyones picture is describing
But they are not realizing
That the true
Amanda Renee Garcia is dieng
Not able to focus
On what I truelly want
I try to RUN
But their grasp
It gets tighter aroung my legs
I scream out in pain
Mine-as-well do what
Everyone else wants
Because Like I said:
If I talk, Iwill be judged
If I want to go far, I will only be able to take one step
I have discovered
That life Takes you where you dont want to be
I am Amanda Renee Garcia
And
Life is suficating
Thanx for giving me feedback.... :)