In the pitch dead of night
Sleep eludes me again
My head pounding, my heart racing
...
Sometimes I feel
Like a fatherless child
Like a fatherless child
So far away from home
...
I hate to bring you this heresy
Because I’m aware most will not believe
But that can’t deter me from saying my piece
Only once in my lifetime can I these words speak
...
Oh how I see your pain
And feel your every hurt
You knew but never dared explain
Still buried in the dirt
...
I rest my head on your shoulder, dear.
Nothing can quell this pain.
I sing to my unborn child, but still…
...
The water marches over
My solitary song
The river clenches her fist
We know it won't be long.
...
The velvet shadow on frozen skin
Like I know the lie
Words unspoken are never true
You tie and tie and tie
...
In the open meadow I cry
Your eyes too dark to ever see mine
Your hair too blond to melt in the snow
Your smile too thin to make me let go
...
I see more than I can bear in your silence
Hear more than I can take in your furrowed brow and broken smiles
Smell more than I want in your dizzying rituals and broken thoughts
Feel much more than I ever thought I would in your perpetual distance
...
Bitter pills, they say
You can’t even digest them.
It’s not a stigma; it’s a business
...
They say it’s hard for love to thrive
In such times as these
But I wonder who made the signs
That keep showing up on the roads and streets
...
What Sisters Do
In the pitch dead of night
Sleep eludes me again
My head pounding, my heart racing
As I wonder what, where, and when?
I cannot stop the madness
That creeps inside my soul
Just like I could not halt your descent
Into your own private hole
Where you would allow no one
No matter how hard they tried
You couldn’t give up the secret
You guarded it with your life
You couldn’t help the voices
Or the eruption in your brain
You hid it so very well, you did
We could not begin to glimpse your pain
The torture you must have endured
That continues ‘till this day
Was too much to speak of, I’m sure
As I watched my brother go away
I know it’s not forever
And I believe it’s not the end
You are my brilliant soul-twin
Nothing can ever change my Sven
I would cut off my right arm for you
If I hadn’t done so already
I am bleeding from the wound
Cold, hard, and steady
My heart has, too, been punctured
I bleed from every pore
I pray to God my Jesus
Please—No more! No more!
And then I pray to Mary
Mother of our Sins
I see her crying teardrops
That seem neither to end nor to begin
If I could make the sunlight
Shine into your night
I would surely do it
If it could restore your sight
If I could stop the thunder
And cease the raging storms
I would in an instant
To see your soul reborn
To take away your sadness
Your confusion and despair
There is nothing I would not do
No burden I would not bear
Your sister I am always
Standing by your side
No matter what the day brings
Through every shifting tide
You are my baby brother
So innocent and true
How I pine for the fulfillment
Of your dreams both old and new
Your mind is playing tricks
That no one can explain
But you are still my brother
Pure, unspoiled, unstained
If you do not believe this
I will help you through
For your hardship is my hardship
And that’s what sisters do.