When I wake up from my slumber
I realize that two's the number.
Sleeping alone is so inferior
To two in bed which is superior.
...
Just sittin' around wonderin' what to munch
When it again came time to make my lunch.
Looked around, first couldn't find nothin',
Thought to myself, there must be somethin'.
...
This Guy's wife made him go to a Shrink
Because he wouldn't get offa the drink.
Doc said, I know it has been a strain
But I want to lob off a piece of your brain
...
As I was walking down the road
Upon the road I spied a toad
Upon the toad I saw a load
A load of grass that he'd just mowed.
...
When I was in Bolivia
I met this girl named Olivia.
She said, You know me
I don't work for free
...
When I was retired and past my prime
I didn't know what to do with my time,
So I took a little trip down to the coast
To olde Louisiana where they have the most.
...
I knew this babe from the city
And on me she wouldn't take pity.
She'd tease through the night
With no later delight.
...
Today I'm in a stew
Because I'm out of brew.
Weather's bad, you clown
So you can't go to town
...
A man named Bart from LaMart
Had perfected the art of the fart.
He filled the air
With aromas so rare
...