A Trip To Naw'Lins Poem by George Hunter

When I was retired and past my prime
I didn't know what to do with my time,
So I took a little trip down to the coast
To olde Louisiana where they have the most.
They also have some of the worst.
Had a cup of café and thought I would burst,
It was as strong as a branch off of a hickory
Found out they fortify it with Creole chickory.
They do a lot of strange things down here
I thought as I drank some cold JAX beer.
Took a tour of St. Louis cemetery where I found
They bury their dead above the ground.
Guess they just do what they are able
And say it's all due to the high water table
Makes a good spot for a crime movie chase
With those above-ground crypts all over the place.
Next I went to a Bourbon Street haunt
Had everything there that a guy could want.
Lots of girls hanging out of the doors
Called themselves ladies but they were just whores.
And I didn't really want to dance
And let my brain be in my pants.
I had to pass that up, ‘cause I didn't think
It was worth the chance, so I had me a drink
Of some Bourbon whisky and some French wine
And listened to some jazz that was very fine.
It was old Pete Fountain blowing the Infirmary Blues
I'd say he was the best if I had to choose.
Then I had me some chow at Antoine's Diner
Ate a po-boy sandwich, now what could be finer?
Also had some red beans and rice
A combo that was very nice.
Thought at that time I'd call it a day
Before all my senses went astray.
Jumped on my Harley Electraglide
As I had no more time to bide
And I really felt the need to ride.
Of the Big Sleazy I'd had my fill
So I zoomed up the road to Prairieville
To visit with my brothern
Who'd moved to this place that was oh so Southern.
Where they still fight the Civil War
Don't know how they could still be sore.
Guess they're just trying to still save face
After suffering such a great disgrace.
Had a nice visit, then thought I'd better go
Before getting caught by the next tor-na-do
Got to get back to old California
With that summer sun that'll really warm ya.
So bye, bye Bobito, see you later
Careful you don't get eaten by a gator! .