It's bad enough I'm stuck in here,
A forced exhibit on display.
There's no respect 'cause there's no fear,
Like I'd get out in the wild way.
...
My horse is spooked and throws me down,
Then gallops off into the night.
It's way too far to walk to town.
I need some shelter till day light.
...
Things were pretty much all the same,
Eat, sleep and other body stuff.
But then, this here big bad truck came,
Loaded me and hauled my fat duff,
...
Wild Bill Hickok went on a break
From Deadwood law and order flair.
He anteed up a poker stake,
Taking the only empty chair,
...
I was in my crib, fast asleep,
When a twister tore through the place,
Like a big broom making a sweep.
It swept my crib out of its place,
...
We must no longer tolerate
Such an icon so incorrect.
There's being grossly overweight.
Labor practices go unchecked.
...
Telemarketers always call
When I'm expecting someone else.
My expectations quickly fall,
And my tolerance level melts.
...
Edgar Allen Poe was in fact,
Briefly, a cadet at West Point.
The parade dress rule was exact -
A rifle over shoulder joint,
...
I raised my children all alone.
When they were bad, I spanked them good;
And told them that when they were grown
I hoped they'd act as people should.
...