John Carter Brown Poems

We're sighing because it's just all we can do,
We've tried all there is just to get through to you;
You say that you'll try to be better next time,
We're afraid that, again, you're just using that line.
...

'Grab a hold of that dish-cloth our Peter,
And give me a lift with these dishes;
We don't have a genie in this house
To help us, by giving three wishes.
...

There was an old gardener from Jarrow
Who grew a great prize-winning marrow
It filled him with pride
But to get it outside
...

YOU'LL KNOW WHY

When I tell you that I love you
And you ask the reason why
...

An eccentric young man from Kilkenny
Who, skint - with no money - not any
Would teach you guitar
Then make you a star
...

Take a loaf of thick white
From out of the fridge,
Undo it, and take out two slices;
Lay both of them gently
...

There once was a fellow from France
Who did a ridiculous dance;
It's not what you're thinking
He hadn't been drinking
...

There once was a man from Peru
Who trapped a small stone in his shoe;
It felt like a whopper
As he came a cropper
...

I'm not keen on the horizontal
I'd rather have the V;
The H is unattractive, no
The vertical's for me;
...

You've got to leave something
Behind when you go,
No matter how large
Or how small;
...