There was a young lady from Ince
who wanted to marry a prince
but the outlook was grim
she just couldn't find him
...
I'm addicted to Liquorice Allsorts
That sugary gem of a sweet, and
Unless I take serious hold of myself
The whole of the pack I will eat.
...
It is, again, that time of year
When all good men go digging.
I say good men, but then again,
Not all good men know digging;
...
Her presence is so tranquil
Her clothes fit very nicely
Her blonde hair is so beautiful
She makes up so precisely;
...
Jazz is just about the
Only type of music that
Holds no great interest for me.
Neither do I
...
I thought it a great disadvantage,
A memory as useless as mine,
But thinking again, on reflection,
It's not, and all is just fine;
...
Sat by my evening window
A tragedy occurred,
When into it crashed heavily
A tiny little bird;
...
A musical man named Calhoon
Worked hard at completing a tune;
He was good at composing,
But better at dozing,
...
To anyone that's never written a poem,
My deepest sympathies go out to you,
For 'tis a pleasant pastime, and I'm sure that
Once started on the path, you'll never rue.
...
The greatest gift to youngsters
Must be the mobile phone,
That tiny sacred instrument
Which all of them now own.
...