Kathryn Cox

Mostly I feel that sensitivity is a weakness.
This is a lie I tell myself.
When you feel you have nothing left, you always have friends.
This is a lie I tell myself.
...

I had a clean sheet of paper until i started writing.
Writing on my mind that is not a clean sheet of paper.
My mind is a postcard sent to everyone that listens,
confirming my weaknesses, confirming my emptiness.
...

Drag me into the woods with an axe and a shovel,
where I would be forced to kill or kill myself.
Burying myself would be impossible,
and living knowing I have killed is impossible.
...

Lost in thought, and found in the way you found yourself.
Cast before me like the wind was by itself.
And love in depth of the sea beyond
as if you knew what i would become.
...

My intuition is slacking,
and my looks are starting to fade.
I am embarassed of myself.
...

It happened so fast,
Life.
When i open my eyes i can feel them shut.
When i close my eyes,
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Feeling bad for what i have created,
and yet no guilt overcomes me.
Is it the truth i spill when i speak these words?
Or is it my own truth that i have subsided?
...

Frightened and scared of disprovel.
Even though courage is my strongpoint.
I have an ambition-to fulfill my own needs.
If i could only find a new way to conquer.
...

Life as we know it is starting to fade.
Humanity no longer exists.
No hope for prosperity nor growth.
No hunger for kindness and love.
...

Overwhelming feelings of regret and hurt fill me with the sanity I need to be calm.
The possibility of being calm stays slim and I have judged to quickly.
Mistakes are things I don’t make,
But I still regret my decision.
...

The hope of tomarrow,
The excitment of today.
How I know what you will ponder.
And because you ponder me,
...

Trying to make sense of it all,
and not trying hard enough.

Am I really who I say I am?
...

Who can I blame?
Is it I who tore down walls,
or are you a professional?
...

If I could only make sense of it all.
My life.
My life doesn't make sense.
Well, at least to me.
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Holy F**k.
I am crazy.
My demons can't chase me.
The thought of it all.
...

In this situation,
I am always in.
Knowing an outcome,
knowing I would blame.
...