Ogden Nash Poems

The truth I do not stretch or shove
When I state that the dog is full of love.
I've also found, by actual test,
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Behold the hippopotamus!
We laugh at how he looks to us,
And yet in moments dank and grim,
I wonder how we look to him.
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When people aren't asking questions
They're making suggestions
And when they're not doing one of those
They're either looking over your shoulder or stepping on your toes
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There is a knocking in the skull,
An endless silent shout
Of something beating on a wall,
And crying, “Let me out!”
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My fellow man I do not care for.
I often ask me, What's he there for?
The only answer I can find
Is, Reproduction of his kind.
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The people upstairs all practise ballet
Their living room is a bowling alley
Their bedroom is full of conducted tours.
Their radio is louder than yours,
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How wise I am to have instructed the butler
to instruct the first footman to instruct the second
footman to instruct the doorman to order my carriage;
I am about to volunteer a definition of marriage.
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The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks
Which practically conceal its sex.
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Bring down the moon for genteel Janet;
She's too refined for this gross planet.
She wears garments and you wear clothes,
You buy stockings, she purchases hose.
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Though you know it anyhow
Listen to me, darling, now,
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