12 Year Catharsis Poem by Angela Dodge

I've eaten more ham,
Wrapped in grief...
Scalloped potatoes,
Tastelessly chewed...
Corn and rolls,
Swallowed
Like a sin eater

Rituals in the mid-west
Of american legion-eagles-elks-moose lodges
With plastic cloths on the tables
Like the plastic bags in which
I can see a glimpse
Of your hand
Your hair, not there,
Your eye

I despise the ritual
But cannot stay away if
You were loved
And cherished
And blood

So we wash clean
with the wet-nap, thoughtfully lemon-scented
Like the lemon water you loved
And we move through the hands
The hugs
The words
Like breathing,
Not underwater,
But under dirt.