254. Today I'm Feeling Evil Poem by Jaden Knight

Today I'm feeling evil
and want to do many bad things
I mocked my phone for being engaged
and for not having any gold rings

I cut the head off a Guinness
because it was it was only pint size
I blinded a dozen potatoes
by cutting out all of their eyes

I beat the eggs at a game of cards
I whipped up the cream until it cried
threatened my arm hair with green colourant
then poured it on until it dyed

I woke up a two person sleeping bag
informed a vacuum that it sucks
told the bread to use its loaf
before feeding half of it to the ducks

I cut up a finger of fudge
using a blade of grass
painted the wall with ice tea
hoping to stain the glass

I sent a brick up the wall
and stitched up a shirt coz it lost the thread
ripped the tongue out of a shoe
stole the sheets from a river bed

Yes I know I'm being a bully
as I throw on the floor my dice
but this may only be temporary
tomorrow I might try being nice