A Confession Poem by David Mitchell

I've just spent twenty minutes of my life
Watching a cartoon (I am seventeen!)
With animals that talk in Irish accents
And wear sunglasses: most of them are pigs:
Can any excuse mitigate this crime?
I scann'd the guide to what I could have watch'd
Upon the screen, and in the top right corner
The Irish pig cartoon was on, and it
Entranced me, so I watch'd it (on full screen)
For twenty minutes, then it ended. If
I have by this committed mortal sin,
I pray that God forgive me. Mea culpa,
Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.
My conscience is now clearer than before.