A Dirty Beast Poem by John Thorkild Ellison

Your endless bouts of masturbation
Will do no good to your reputation
And I have to say I do deplore
The way you piss on the toilet floor!

Don't worry, I'm not complaining
About your lack of toilet-training
But I'm sure that even Sigmund Freud
Himself would be a bit annoyed
If you didn't make it your firm intention
To curb these habits that I mention!

Please show some self-control at least
Before you get known as 'The Dirty Beast'!