A Long Poem After A Tryst... Poem by RIC BASTASA

in my island
somewhere in
Kota Kinabalu
lies my
heart

if you go there
take the
backdoor
do not bring any
papers
hide your name
lest there will
be utter
shame

if you find me
there
prepare for the curse
it may find you

to lose this curse
wear a mask of a
decent woman trader

use another common
name
just be an ordinary
lover
or concubine

take the kitchen door
do not
take the entrance gate
do not step on the
garden
avoid the garage


the light at the kitchen
is constantly open
like anything ready
for another forgiving
do not mind it
do not attempt to switch
it off
someone may die


take the secret passage
direct to my room
it is never locked

it is not so well lighted
it smells like
a salad of chili and
mint
do not be tempted by
it

come to me
kiss me at the back of my
body
at the side of my ear
let the kiss drop there
let it run
and be fragile like
a new born
butterfly
let it crawl
towards my spine
do not stop
it

let this ecstasy of
hidden outbursts of
island joys
run
to the tips of my
toe
so that i can be another
running river
towards the
stormy sea....

do not attempt to use
words
for they are not necessary
at least at this time
of losing
my sanity

do not utter my name
since you have no power over
me
i do not have to know you
in this darkness of our
hours

after this love
this fire this smoke and
haze

(if we want to see it that way)

take what i have
for you
then leave me
on your tiptoes bringing
with you
your coverings and
pair of shoes

you have not seen my face
and you cannot say anything about
this

this agony of secret joys
this secret of our pains and longings

still hidden from the scandals of
your civilization
from the books of
love and lust

it will just be another
poem that you cannot understand
but you must have felt it
like the sound of a closing door
or the last page of a book

like something that you can easily throw away
dismiss like a story
the way you
shrug off your shoulders
and then walk away