A Never Ending Worry Poem by Rachel Aurelien

A worry sat on a ledge of insecurities and judged me with its never-ending howling in the sweetest voice hiding behind a wall; Holding the hands of fear,
laughing as I got near
A dozen pictures rest, but my minds hardly clear;
I stand still waiting for the muzzle to appear,
From its grin; wishing to move the horrid smear upon the face of fear
I know I shouldn't care, but it's the false reply I hold dear.

With a beady eye and a half a grin
It's a bunch a thoughts I had to let in
The ones that confuse you to sit upon a sin
The ones that trouble you to bring a hand that is always on a cling
It feels like a splinter on a feathered wing
Soft and warm, but you know it could sting
But when? Each second is one bottle in the bin and two is a ping
It's the terrible thought I let in
Is it a worry or being it fear? It's the stupid grin....

I can't get over
My beating of my heart is lower
I know the time can't get any slower
The whirlwind in my mind can't get any colder
It's me, my mind, my soul, my spirit, my body and I still feel like a loner.
The warmth is cold, my breath is colder
It may grow until I'm older
It's my head resting on an abandoned shoulder
One voice, two voices couldn't get any louder.

In my head
Sleeping on a bedless bed
Sowing my covers with a needle-less thread
But my emotion and actions are always left unread
The weak stones seem to attract more treads.

It's my mind, my thoughts, my brain,
Conflicting as my pain
It's fear playing me at my own game
I try to blank the desires to keep me sane
Caressing its satisfied ego with the battles and unspoken conversation leaking into my brain.
Like rubbing a needle on a dried up stain
While resting on my curved frame
This situation, how did it came...

About
To scream, but never let out a shout
It's a feeling I could live without

Comfort released from a squeezed fist
To think of nothing is what I miss
I overwrote, the words are within words on two by two inch list
Remembering the mocking like receiving an unforgiving kiss and feeling my heart twist
What if you can hear that silent hiss?
The unrealised truth gave me eyes to view reality, but in my visions I gave its leg and arm a twist
Like being trapped in an hourglass with unrefined glass, counting the time as its past.

My eyes watched without blinking
A caller unknown, but the tone is sinking
Half of the time I don't know what I'm really thinking
But should I trust my left hand and drink from the same cup, I've always been drinking
Two glasses that stand side by side
One holds the truth and the other lied
If I didn't move the blindfold in time my soul could of died
There's water upon my cheeks, but I know I never cried.

A conscience sat on the edge of reason and judged me for the fool I am
To snap out of it, I don't know if I can
My mind was running but my legs never ran
Two pens wrote my future as an undirected plan
Tell me I'm not as confused as I think I am.