A Suicide Note (For The Misunderstood...) Poem by chantelle ribeiro

I need to disappear
You will not understand
I know, for you never have...
Do you know what emptiness is?
The kind of sorrow that sinks its claws
into your heart
that rips your soul apart
until you bleed out on the floor
your cries inverted
your silent screams in the dark
A complete and utter absence of light
Did you not once even wonder
what was going on inside?
My eyes pleaded with you
once upon a time
but you just turned away
while you pushed me out of the way
I gave you all I had every day
I adored and admired you
And still you just ignored me
You shunned and criticized me
Making me feel small
while you pranced around
to other's beck and call
I loved you
with every breath in my body
I just wanted to be loved back
I just wanted your attention
I just craved the affection
you gave to everyone else
and that's a fact
It hurt to see you do that
I wanted you to see yourself
as I saw you
I wanted you to see ME
to see the beauty and my misery
this mystery that is ME
But you never did
I am nothing
This is clear to me
Just another waste of time
I will never sing again
I will never say these things again
In this life I'm of no use
Maybe where I'm going I will be
I know you think I'm being selfish
but know that you were selfish too
to think I'd give and give and give
while you just left me black and blue
unloved, unwanted, lost and confused
while you just cared about you
There's nothing more to say
Except I loved you more each day
But now that all is said and done
I have no strength to carry on
or to run
Without me you are free at last
And I'll be a memory from the past
An echo from a distant place
A silhouette without a face