Annie Cordelia Adams

Rookie (14 August 1991 / Birmingham)

And I'Ve Ruined Yours Too - Poem by Annie Cordelia Adams

the chillest year of my life
the most that has ever happened
so full of things and stuff
i ran away, almost twice

watched the blues sing
two of my favourite people
two of the most free days
sand in my sandles and blood on my wings

now i'm angry, and unhappy
and i'm hurt and i'm sad
everything i want doesn't want what i want
and i just want to be happy
i'm still stuck here in this fucking dump
like a child in a cradle my parents strangle me
i have no money to get out of here
and my support is a lot less of a supporter
and i know the reasons nothing is right

i should be following christ
the way that i should
the way that i now follow mice
through the gaps in the wood
in the house of nautical mystery and blacklights
and i'll never be happy in that house
but i'm too damn lazy to get out
so here. i am.

and nothing will change until i get up
i have cursed myself with sin
i have blinded myself with ignorance
i have ruined everything.

so nothing i do matters anymore.
i am no longer rebellious and loud.
i pretend it on the outside.
but truly, i am timid and scared of the world.
scared of what i want to see.
scared of what i'll never see.

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Poem Submitted: Monday, January 16, 2012

Poem Edited: Tuesday, January 17, 2012

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