Arlene Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

'Father, bless me and forgive me, I have sinned.
I have doubted the great wisdom of our Lord.
I was in the backseat of my boyfriend's Volvo,
when the windows very suddenly steamed up.'

'Well, my child, you need to be much more specific,
so did you have that young policeman with you?
About his uniform, I mean was he on duty,
or was he wearing just protection meant for you? '

'Father, he has such a big civilian weapon,
and he said it needed to be put at rest,
in the only safe Aunt Jima and I have it,
then he found it, called it lovenest after that.'

'Carry on, my child, did he explain the meaning,
of that procedure then, please girl, now pray and tell? '

'He did most certainly, and also checked for fever,
his weapon is a mometer of sorts.'

'And did it happen, what I mean is, was it wet?
Our Jesus needs to know all of the facts, so tell me now.'

'Yes, there was stuff that I had called beef drippings,
but it was only, rest assured, that slipp'ry silver.
He said that often these mometers spring a leak,
it is the mercury that sticks to my pink panties.
Though, not to worry it has disappeared, thank God.'

'Well, now my girl, you are the child of Jesus,
tonight the last of the confessions in my church.
I want to show you now the special love of God.
Let's go upstairs to study all God's word indepth.'