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Kevin Patrick

Freshman - 1,391 Points (Taurus / Ontario)

Ax Body Spray


He had the best hand he’d ever drawn
Getting loose with his mates at club “Leisure”
He met a girl with salacious paws
But all he got was a bogus number

He’d seen her face in the sea of the crowd
Sitting at the bar with a sultry malice
His friends goaded him into the plough
The liquor said he was up to the challenge

His heart race beat to a steep decibel
Synchronized to the rhyme of the tide
The DJs voice rang through the grand hall
Inciting him to meet his Friday night bride

Victorious was his futile mantra
As he stammered his way through strobe lights
Ever anxious was his true anthem
As he sat at the base of her sight

He played his best ever confidence trick
As her haughty lips slipped like a snake
He made himself into a maverick prick
Until she giggled her defences as bait



He thought he had sealed the deal
Pretending have his A- game big breeches
He acted calm, cavalier and all steal
Getting under her juicy wet peaches


But when she manipulated him for a kiss
She scrawled and then made a face
And though she feigned feminine indifference
And acted generous to his sexual aims
The ball game had been ruined by his disgrace
As he should have used ax body spray


Ax Body Spray – made with the pleasant aroma for
vindictive vipers who seek spiteful romance.
Now comes in liquorish flavours

Submitted: Friday, April 04, 2014

Topic of this poem: humorous


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Inspired by Oderona thanks Pete Townsend

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