Bless Them All Poem by Michael Pruchnicki

'A bird, clean or not, is the owner of a wing.
You can look it up in the Old Testament! '
That's what a rabbi told me once over a beer.
He said, 'Birds once served as burnt offerings! '

What did I know? Hawk, heavenly lark or wild fling,
I always rise to the occasion. 'Rabbi, I find that queer!
I hear some birds are clean, some not! Which to burn? '

Rabbi said, 'Clean birds include sparrows and killdeer,
even those pigeons shitting on your roof are among 'em! '

'Quaint notion, that! ' I said.

He replied, 'Unclean birds include ravens, kites and bats,
none of which require you to scrape and repaint
house and garage after an attack by winged rats! '

I said, 'Give me sparrows galore who call, 'Come and get it-
free food for all! ' I can do without ravens, kites and bats! '

Rabbi shrugged. 'Did you know vampire bats
upchuck blood meals for hungry baby bats as they flit
on wings of membrane from shingles and shutters?
Vampires consume clouds of insects along with blood.'

I said, 'Each to his own, I say. First, a modest proposal!
Let us braise a brace of pigeons in the pan-
chase them with hearty drafts of pale English ale.
L'Chaim, my dear rabbi! '

'Mazal Tov, my gentile friend! Light the fire! '