Brian's Potato Surprise Poem by Ripper Jones

I was filling bags of potatoes with another worker called Brian
we had a bag of gone-off potatoes with us
we had to put of these in every bag of good potatoes

suddenly my co-worker Brian exclaimed of one good potato
'look at that one it looks like my girlfriend'
and sure enough it did same eyes same nose same ears
'it's even got the same cheekbones' he said

I told him to put it in his pocket for a souvenir
but the manager saw it and asked what he'd put in his pocket
'I hope you're not thievin' those spuds' he said
'this is a matter of science' Brian retorted

'oh is it now' said the manager' so let's take a look
Brian took it out of his pocket
the manager started rubbing the earth off it
'sure, this is a friggin' doll's head' he said

'you can't eat this so I'll leave you off'
and so it was a doll's head
with no hair
and blue eyes

lots of times when I'm peeling potatoes for chips
I think of that incident
and do you know the doll's head looked nothing like Brian's girlfriend
it looked like Brian