Caroline Poem by Brett Rogers

Caroline

I dream I am the first
(Neil Diamond sang it wrong)
To think of you in verse,
And breathe the air, so terse -
Now! … And now … And now:
My heart mimics the flutter
Of your impatient knee.
I offer you this:
My hopeless elegy
Of melancholy smiles;
A veiled bookmate
Sharing air …

* * *

I will proudly state my disability:
“I am blind with an endless spectrum of colors.”

These Springing months,
Their winds and warmth,
Exhale and toss your hair;
A whisper.
A hint to hurry.
Wait!
(You make me blush)
Watch …
The slow-mo explosion of my head.
Slow down! At least -
I promise you an entire soul.

“It’s just …
I want to say …
You have tired the
Engineers of creation! ”

I
Don’t
Know.
I mean …

“You are the most joyful
Thing I have ever seen.
I want to be … ”

(And in my head
Joni sings:
'I wanna be the one
That you wanna see.
I wanna knit you a sweater.
I wanna write you a love letter.
I wanna make you feel better;
I wanna make you feel' …)

* * *

Fight a frown.
I rhyme for your smiles:
I must confess
I am smitten passed distress;
The perfect word for this pleasant mess:
A lovesick heart in jest;
I think of everything less.
I’ll declare and pound my chest,
“A quest! ”
I’ll wear a dress
And dance with zest;
Call you Jesus
(Blasphemous!) .
I will not dwell on sex,
Unless …
Anything to impress,
I am always at my best.
No single test,
No performance stress,
Could dethrone you: my princess.
I feel only this …

I
Am
Sorry.
I apologize.
Let me make a moment
To eulogize:
I’m nobody.
Are you nobody, too? !

* * *

(I recognize those jeans:
Faded sauce-drop
On a taut thigh,
The closest,
The one I wanna
Accidentally touch.)

When I could have said (ANYTHING!) -
(My soul jumps to greet,
And takes with it my insides)
I only thought,
“I smoke too much,
I drink too much,
I numb too much.
That can’t be hot.”

My desperation
Desperately needs attention.