Cold Callused Man Poem by Katherine Graven

Through the door you casually walk in
Handsome features concealing a cold-callused man
Like a firefly is drawn to the heat’s glowing ambers
My sight could not see past passion’s flame and its’ dangers

The consequences of falling at first sight
was not my concern
Never knowing the path I chose
Would be of hard lessons unlearned

So I grabbed hold of the golden thread
Loosing all mind’s logic
Falling into the depths
Of forbidden midnight’s magic

Never knowing my soul
I would forever surrender…
Into this stranger’s bitter heart
Of an uncaring pretender

For a while my eyes were blinded
By the one I thought was true
My heart was full of love
Thinking I found my future in you

Your kiss was like a raging hot inferno
Without any direction or control
Leaving passion’s thunder to burst
Into a whirlwind of endless lies and sorrow

How was my soul to know it was dancing
Into the dark eyes of emptiness
Of a man who would not provide true love
Due to his undeniable selfishness
You tried so hard to cover up your enter-self
Only playing mindless schemes
Pretending to be the fantasy
Of my desires and endless dreams

Then

One special day
Your cruel words of disgust pushed me away
I still do not understand the reason to this very day
How could this man I love with all my soul and heart
Treat me with such disrespect and tear my world apart

The more I tried to make you feel
The love you said you had for me
You only watched with a heart of steel
As burning tears rolled down my cheek
Then when I had had enough
I would try to walk away
Again you begged and pleaded
With tears rolling down your face
I love you, I need you, I want you,
is all you would say


How could a man be so cold and callused…
To say I love you then push you away
How could he be so non-understanding…
And take all your dreams and send them astray
Why does his sinister ghostly actions
scream out silently as to say…
You will never be anything I would need or want.
Just someone I will use for today

For years you have been this way
But still you say you love me
But your actions have proven over and over
That about this you have also lied to me.

Now

My soul is crying out for cleansing
By the million tears I’ve cried
Now I have no more to give
Because my heart is bounded and tie
Lonely depression has taken control of me
From the inside
Leaving behind an empty shell called my heart
Never again allowing it to be my emotional guide

I have given all that I can stand
To this cold-callused man
Who is someone who doesn’t even try to understand
My needs, my wants, my desires or my passions
Not to mention my life’s plans…

So the table has turned
I am numb to the bone
With a damaged heart
Who wants to be left alone
I do not want any more heartache
Just to be pushed away
Or someone who does not care
About my dreams for that day

Please do not ask me about love…
For now I do not think there is such a thing
Do not ask me about dreams…
There are no more dreams to claim
Do not ask me about wants…
Because if I speak of them they will be taken away

Because for me the gift of love
Is not permitted to this very day

Written by
Katherine Kay Graven
January twenty fifth
Two thousand seven