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David Knox

(honestly why would i tell you? / does it matter?)

Context Is King


Every action and word has its context and has its place
It can mean the world to hold hands, to hug, to touch at all
Or it could mean absolutely nothing, the context defines everything
I dreamed day and night of the next time I could embrace my love
The smallest, touch glance, and word were my life and breath
To us when we were young and in love meant so much, but that's the rub
And here's the context, we had mutual feelings for each other
I've touched many women
Under different conditions and it felt like nothing
So mundane as to be not even a thing
Not some thing you think upon
But it's that very thing upon which I choose to dwell
As we sat very close, I felt nothing special, but to be that close
To a woman who I loved, that was and should be ecstasy
To be perfectly honest it was my fantasy
I dreamed of such things day and night even just to sit close to her
Sit close and talk
Take a very long and intimate walk
But I've done those things, and I do those things with her
So why do I write of the truth we all know?

I write for two reasons one selfish I keep to myself, the other I show
My love left me and I cried, but that is the not the point
I am alone now and disjoint
But after many moons my heart yearns to feel again
My heart returns to love again
There is now another woman who may be my fancy
Or maybe it's an instant crush, mere infatuation
But I digress, the point is I sit incredibly close to this woman
For necessity, I held her hand for her safety, I talk to
Her for long hours as a counselor and we walk for transport
If I were to do these things with someone I love
They would mean the world to me
And I think I do love her, but they mean nothing
Literally nothing
We talk on friends basis, We sit close in a car with another driver
We walk to get places and we talk on the surface. The context
The context changes everything
But it certainly boggles my brain
I dream ardently of sitting close to her, it is my deep desire

But with this context it's different

I don't know how she feels and that dream feels so far away
Even though we're physically close
But wait I must reiterate and say
The dream is very real, it just happened to me
We just sat super close together, I got to essentially live my dream
But without the presence of my context of love
Without the absence of the context of necessity
Without knowing her feelings
Even touching 'my love' even holding her in a hug
It all means nothing and we're just friends
And that's not a dream, that's reality.

Submitted: Saturday, July 13, 2013
Edited: Saturday, July 13, 2013

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