Deceive Myself.. Poem by Dislocated Heart

Woke up with a desire to leave this forever,
phone went off buzzing, telling me dont.
I finally got up, looked at the time.
I realize.. I've only slept 3 hours, right on the dime.

Thinkin bout everyone, and everything..
Nothing on tv, is ever the same.
My best friend, telling me to stay strong,
Tell me, how do I move on?

I got no money, not even a job..
A bum, thats what I am..
with only $30 and some change.
What am I gonna do with that little thing?

ppl, telling me to be strong,
even tho I'm completely alone..
All family gone,
just me against the world.

Suicide ain't the answer..
but its whats on my mind.
things will get better..
after some time.

Whats with all the lying..
is this really helping?
deceiving myself..
only trouble causing..

I'll end my thoughts of suicide..
or at least I'll try.

Nothing goes as planned..
Something stupid will always happen..
I guess this is my way of learning.

(Written outta all the things that has happened to me this year...)