Disgust - Undisguised Poem by Margaret Alice Second

Confined in office and home is fine
as long as I can do things I like -
surfing the Internet

But when rejection and isolation is
my daily fare, when my offerings
are met with a cold glare

My resolve weakens and my mind
disintegrates under the assault of
frozen disgust - undisguised

Attempts to destroy my spirit make
it almost impossible to breathe, yet
somehow I am not dead yet

What keeps me alive in a world all
hostile which imprisons me in a
chair all day long - where

physical symptoms make escape
impossible while access to my
dad is unattainable?

I accept responsibility for all these,
believing in freedom, all brought
about by my choices

Though why I chose to be ill, stuck in
the quagmire of mental sluggishness,
is beyond explanation

Admitting guilt lessens the burden and
makes me determined to learn how to
love unconditionally