David Keig (1951 / UK)

Of course you can see them just most of any time
So take them out for breakfast - if the weather it is fine
But this weekend it's tricky - they're busy every day
And you see them each twice daily - that's all that i will say
For you pick them up, collect them each day from home to school
It may be only just ten minutes - and you know that there are rules
You can't ask too many questions - you know that they are tired
But they say that you annoy them and that you are a liar
You say that you do love them all the time so desperately
You're a fool! You are a madman! They far more do love me!
More time with them - you say to me - is what you really need
To be a real father - now do please these words heed
They do not want to be with you despite the things i say
Oh yes - i had forgotten that we are going away
Not for too long - a mere five weeks
When we come back we're off straightway to the beach
So i guess that you won't see them much until their next term starts
Now don't call them too often and aim to break their hearts
You've ruined my life! You've ruined my life! And now you're ruining their's!
You would keep out of their way if you did really care
I do not understand you! I tell them all the times
To be nice or be whatever - now will you realise
That if you make me angry they'll really hate you for it
You loser! You bad father! You worthless piece of shit!
Now i know that you are up-set - i know that you feel sad
But i choose when you see them - you're now just a Disneyland Dad.