Dying For A Cookie Poem by Kim Barney

Kim Barney

Kim Barney

I was born in a bank - - my mother went there and made a deposit

Dying For A Cookie

Rating: 5.0


On his deathbed lay poor old Jim,
hardly any strength left to him,
and he was thinking as he lay:
"I'll just lie here and die today, "
when he perceived a lovely smell,
wife baking cookies, he could tell.
This smell of cookies gave him hope;
no longer did he want to mope.
He'd lost his voice; he couldn't call,
but thought that maybe he could crawl
down to the kitchen for a treat;
those cookies would be hard to beat.
And so he tumbled out of bed,
banged up his elbows, bumped his head,
looked himself over, just to find
another bruise on his behind,
but started forward, past some chairs,
then slipped and tumbled down the stairs.
The only way he moved along
was that sweet cookie smell, so strong.
He's in the kitchen now at last,
and all his strength is fading fast.
A kitchen chair's a welcome sight;
it helps him pull himself upright.
A mound of cookies sitting there
makes him feel like a millionaire.
His hand now stretches to the plate
when it is smashed by some great weight!
"You can't have those! " his wife calls out.
"They're for the funeral, you lout! "

Dying For A Cookie
Saturday, December 14, 2019
Topic(s) of this poem: humor,life and death
POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
This poem took First Place in Category 24: Leroy Meagher Humor
in the 2019 Utah State Poetry Society Spring Contest.
There were 45 entries.

This poem also took Second Place in Category 8 (Humor)
in the 2019 Arizona State Poetry Society Annual Contest.
(The number of entries was not revealed.)

I just found out on 12 December 2019 (two days ago)
that it had placed second in that contest.

The Arizona State contest is unusual, because you can enter more than one poem in each category. Most of the contests only allow you to submit one poem per category.

What a shock it was when I also took First Place with "Baseball in Heaven" and Third Place with "Terrified Taxi Driver"! I swept all the cash prizes in the category! In addition, another poem, "Absolution", took Second Honorable Mention.
COMMENTS OF THE POEM

This is absolutely hilarious! I laughed until my ribs hurt! To MyPoemList and five stars!

0 0 Reply
Bri Edwards 28 December 2019

I think Hazel's comment seemed " generous" to you BECAUSE she exaggerated to make you feel even better than you already were feeling, Old Guy! ! but, alas, i admit that i too laughed, but not TOO loudly, at the ending. Actually the whole poem deserves to go to MyPoemList. Poor f+king husband. Then again, lucky to be rid of his wife soon. What a witch! ! they look like Toll House Ch. Chip Cookies my ma made, with my help, i think. i KNOW i helped eat them. bri :)

3 0 Reply
Hazel Durham 15 December 2019

I laughed out loud....great ending...brilliant!

4 0 Reply
Kim Barney 15 December 2019

Thank you so much for this generous comment, Hazel!

1 0
Bernard F. Asuncion 15 December 2019

A humorous write, sir Kim. Congrats on your simultaneous wins....10+++

5 0 Reply
Kim Barney 15 December 2019

Thank you, Bernard. It was very surprising to take first, second and third!

1 0
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Kim Barney

Kim Barney

I was born in a bank - - my mother went there and made a deposit
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