mona martinez


Feeling empty inside


that dead feeling inside,
that feels like you living for no reason,
why continue to live in life,
filled with pain and hurt,
struggles only seem to get harder,
some ppl only seem to get meaner,
friends are hard to talk to,
can't understand what i'm going through,
all they can say is,
'flashbacks again? '
like i'm not normal,
ha!
tell me something i don't know,
really who would accept me?
feel like damage goods,
but some guys tell me,
i'm more than my problem,
i don't see it,
i don't feel it,
i feel broken, trashed, used,
discussed, unloved, unwanted,
i'm broken because,
i will never be that girl,
who will love easy,
i feel trashed because,
i will never be the girl,
who was pure,
i feel used because,
i was used for pleasure,
it was never my choice,
i feel discussed because,
i was used sexually,
my body feels dirty,
i feel unloved because,
i wasn't treated with care,
i was somebody toy,
i feel unwanted because,
when it was all through and over with,
you wanted nothing to do with me,
i was left to live in a world,
that didn't understand,
the way i was taught to love,
it may not have been love,
but as a child,
feeling accepted and good at something,
feels good,
it becomes your goal to get better at,
but in the end,
you left feeling dead,
and hallow inside.

Submitted: Monday, December 10, 2012
Edited: Monday, February 04, 2013

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

Feel like life is slowly slipping away. tired of hearing 'get over it, it happened in the past' or 'again? ' like i'm not suppose to show emotion, i'm suppose to put on a brave face and pretend nothing is wrong.

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