Feeling The Heartbeat Poem by Gianni Pintus
Feeling The Heartbeat
Day and night,
look into the light,
running wild,
will you dare,
sweeping my feet,
feeling our heartbeat.
Remain in silence,
nothing to tell,
shall we dance,
love at first instance.
Where we are going?
when will we stop?
look at the moon,
the night is falling on us,
so soon.
I'm crazy about you,
you know I am,
let this love run,
let's for once have fun.
The deepest dream,
is looking for us,
it's coming in the moonlight,
to pick us up,
and take us,
to a far away place,
where we will be blessed,
where everything is timeless,
living a day dream,
and feeling our heartbeat
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5/4/2024 9:32:48 PM # 1.0.0.1119
The imgery in this is awesome of two together in love enjoying each other's company and the wondrous scenery around them, two hearts beating as one. Just a couple of tweaks needed in this. 2nd verse,1st line you have 'Remain in silent, ' suggest silence 3rd verse,2nd line you have 'when we stop? ' suggest when will we stop 4th verse,2nd line you have 'you know I'm, suggest you know I am, same verse,3rd line you have 'let's this love run, suggest let this love run last verse,6th line you have 'in a far away place, suggest to a far away place same verse,7th line you have 'where we will be bless, suggest where we will be blessed or where we will bless Apart from all that, well expressed with good clear imagery and message. Many blessings to you