Fibre Gas Poem by Phil Soar

So I increased my intake of fibre
Because I thought I should be well
But the gas that the greens then created
Caused quite a bit of a smell
My belly blew up like an airship
I constantly felt I would fart
And the excess wind deep in my bowels
Almost blew my ass apart
It caused some embarrassing moments
These explosions I could not control
And the stuff that I left in the toilet
Left dirty stains on the bowl
So I guess that it should have been gently
That I introduced fibrous rich food
For the noises I made, and the odour
Was MORE than a little bit rude!