David Rose

Forth-Five Years of Tears and Fears

Seems I have that PTSD bit
As was diagnosed by the VA
Thought I'd write a poem about it
Will try to focus today

This may have a negative tone
Just want to say before I start
I now have a stone
Where I once had a heart

Did my job well in that damn war
Thought I was a hero
Don't know what I fought for
Turned out I was a zero

Didn't know how to cope
So I decided to run
Chose not to use dope
If I'd chosen food I'd weigh a ton

Rarely get any good rest
Cause pain meds keep me flying
Even though I know it's not best
Cause there's things worse than dying

Afraid of having nightmares
Have them most every night
Am I the only one who cares
Sometimes I even fight

Don't meet with friends anymore
Can't follow their conversation
Hardly walk out the door
Just don't have the motivation

'Join a gym' my doctor said
'You won't feel so down'
Seldom crawl out of bed
Much less drive into town

Docs ask if I think about suicide
What sort of question is that
My moods change like the tide
And at the drop of a hat

Don't know where all this is taking me
Hope it's not here to stay
A year from now where will I be
Please God, just get me through today

Submitted: Saturday, May 31, 2014

Topic of this poem: war

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

I am a Vietnam War veteran who is disabled for PTSD and is undergoing therapy from the Veterans Administration. Writing and journaling has turned out to be a big part of my coping tool to help me formulate thoughts.

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