Valerie Dohren

Veteran Poet - 2,719 Points (13 January 1947 / Southport)

From A Distance


Oh it was beautiful …….. from a distance

How it glistened and shimmered in the sunlight
like a diamond cast down from heaven ….. I thought

Or maybe the eye of an angel

or Galadriel’s mirror

or a pool of water, reflecting the day’s gentle glow


So splendid it was

I had to know …..


But it was just a piece of old jagged glass
part of a broken bottle, cast aside
by a drunken fool

And I …….. deluded!

Submitted: Monday, April 29, 2013
Edited: Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Form:


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Poet's Notes about The Poem

At attempt at a more modern format, somewhat different from my usual style.....

Comments about this poem (From A Distance by Valerie Dohren )

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  • Gold Star - 10,094 Points * Sunprincess * (4/8/2014 8:20:00 AM)

    ..........you are right, I would never have recognized this poem as yours....but I love the story in this poem... and yes we can be deluded by appearances from a distance...enjoyed reading this wonderful piece... (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 9,612 Points Heather Wilkins (6/19/2013 11:10:00 AM)

    nicely penned. I like different styles of poetry. it helps keep the work fresh and appealing. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 31 Points John Brown (5/11/2013 5:36:00 AM)

    Different indeed Val. Reminds me of D.H.Lawrence's style in some ways. Nice poem. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Ambrosia A (5/9/2013 11:30:00 PM)

    Very nicely penned. Only a poetic heart can appreciate so many things over a piece of glass. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,154 Points Lyn Paul (5/5/2013 6:47:00 PM)

    Really enjoyed your modern format especially a diamond cast down from Heaven Will there be more? (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 15,033 Points Valsa George (5/3/2013 8:00:00 AM)

    Only a poet of your bent of mind will thus be deluded and only a poet of your calibre can invest so much beauty in a broken piece of glass! Splendid! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 402 Points Kavya . (5/3/2013 5:56:00 AM)

    it actually happens....things from a distance appears to be something else than what it is when we go closer...a very nice representation of a broken glass that shmmered like a diamond cast from the heaven (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 568 Points Shahzia Batool (5/1/2013 2:18:00 PM)

    Being the vers libre, Yes, it is different from your stanza form, but beats and pulse, breaks and pauses are still Valerie Dohren brand...T.S.Eliot rightly said that Free-verse is not Free verse! ...

    the ending is dramatic!
    a mutually shared delusion! ! ! (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,472 Points Hazel Durham (5/1/2013 6:51:00 AM)

    So original and thought provoking, how an old jagged piece of glass, from an old broken bottle with the suns rays illuminating it into a treasure! (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 35,114 Points Aftab Alam Khursheed (5/1/2013 2:50:00 AM)

    very interesting masculine to feminine the perception, a poetic perception, combination of eyes and mind wow thank you very much to have the poem fact is at the end (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 138 Points Spiritual Seeker (4/30/2013 5:07:00 PM)

    I love every bit of it....you have now pushed my observation further and further! Thanks Valerie. A big 10. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,642 Points Dave Walker (4/30/2013 12:39:00 PM)

    Like it, it's amazing what you think you can see
    when it refects with the sun. A great poem. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,902 Points Hans Vr (4/30/2013 8:38:00 AM)

    A great and very poetic observation.
    Superb poetry, very interesting to read. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 2,660 Points Diane Hine (4/30/2013 6:47:00 AM)

    There's always a vague hope that we'll be pleasantly surprised. One day...........
    Successful and enjoyable change of style Val. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 245 Points David Wood (4/30/2013 6:00:00 AM)

    A delightful poem. I often feel like a piece of broken bottle cast aside. A lovely write. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points G.R. Gaus (4/29/2013 11:29:00 PM)

    No matter the format, only you can turn a piece of litter into a clever poetic thought, nicely done Valerie.... (Report) Reply

Read all 21 comments »

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