Grandma's Rocking Chair Poem by Phil Soar

I rocked my grandma back and forth
Upon the porch that faced due North
Her rocking chair had creaked for many years
But I pushed the chair too hard
And she flew into the yard
And she fell onto my stack of cans of beers

She cursed as she came too
Called me quite a thing or two
Then insisted that I cracked open a can
But the tag flew in her eye
And the beer began to fly
And she said that I was just a useless man

Now, my grandma wasn't kind
Tore a piece from off my mind
But by now I'd got her back into the chair
So I rocked the chair much faster
The result was a disaster
As my grandma now went flying through the air

I waved as she went by
Like a rocket in the sky
And she landed in the cesspit out the front
After several hours in there
There was a stench that filled the air
And my neighbour said it was a stupid stunt

Well, I thought that's what he said
As I'd got an aching head
From the laughing that she thought just wasn't fair
And then when I dragged her out
Poor old grandma kicked me out
And she set on fire that creaking rocking chair