Happinessishardtofind. Poem by Bilal Raja

Hatred spewing out of every pore, it soars
Anger that strangles hanged bodies that dangle
Planned to understand you, but can’t stand you
Paid the price for being nice, wasted life
Insecure, pour your soul into something more
Needing bleeding to feel like your breathing
Eating away, need someone to believe in
Sensing the tension spent on pent up aggression
So full of hate and rage its crazy, dazed for days
I’m hazy, placed in a space with fakes who cage me
Save me from myself, I want you and no one else
Help me overcome this demon that I’ve become
Analysing the slicing of a wrist, it’s enticing
Remain sane, but retain blame and regain pain
Drown in my own tears, surrounded by fears
To anyone who’s ever been brave enough to try
Open your heart and get it broken apart
For Lorna forever ago, I’m alone now wherever I go
I hate you, slit your throat and decapitate you
No wait, I love you. I can’t make up my mind
Don’t you know that, HAPPINESSISHARDTOFIND!