Hemorrhoids Poem by Sidi Mahtrow

Like the baboon with red rear end
You may ask, how to suspend
The errant one that is projected
By straining or maybe just gender directed.

An affliction brought on by several cause(s)
Some minor and major, that annoy,
Pregnancy is one that is sex specific
Sitting long, as a truck driver also causes twitches
Or perhaps just a diet imposed condition
Not enough fiber in one's nutrition.

Painful as they are when encountered,
Ignore the pain; it can be surmounted.
But the piles as they're so aptly called
Experienced by mankind are society imposed.

Groups of bulging inflamed things
From errant veins it seems.
Surrounding an unsavory site
That draws attention by spite
To the area from which they arise
To be with us till we die.

Gas is released in this area, too
Offensive, loud and a pungent brew.
Perhaps released to annoy,
And not related to the "oid."
As many call them, but surely
It calls attention to the itching.

A preparation may give relief
When applied to the source of your grief.
Or an inflated cushion for the bottom,
Lends support for alt-areas of the spinal column.
Pills give to lessen the pain
Will get you by, once again,
Perhaps a surgeon's scalpel deftly drawn
Releases trapped bad blood from the "oid".
Even a rubber band around the offending tissue
Is for some the best way to resolve the issue.

If you just let them be
Sometimes comfort comes; wait and see
But as you suffer from man's affliction
Standing and sitting is the reason for your condition.

As with all things that come and go
Hemorroids are there, but not for show
Ignoring them may be the best way
To live to fight another day.