I Didn't Let You Love Me. Poem by Felix Lugo

I didn't forget instead it replays in my mind.
All the things I did and all the words that were exchanged.
I feel the hurt as if it happened just yesterday.
You met me at my worst.
I didn't mean to treat you so wrong.
Say the things that made you cry.
Left you alone many nights.
While you stayed with me my mind drifted away.
You stayed. I blame. You hugged.
I left with no closure to touch.
Believe me that I did love you once.
The moment I thought would have lasted for years to come.
My mind was going through so much.
All you ever wanted was to love me.
I never gave you a chance.
I rarely held your hand while we walked together.
I was afraid what would people think.
"Was I good enough for her, because I know she was more than enough for me."
I had these thoughts that wounded my heart for years. When I thought I would get better with the next love it repeated itself and left me alone.
I could write a beautiful love story.
I just can't live in one.
I can't go back and retract the acts or changed the facts.
You gave yourself to me and I didn't love but took advantage of that.
I always said I would never be like those men and in the end those faces was a mirror looking back.

Sincerely Sorry,

You deserved better than that…