I'm Sorry Poem by Mio Draconis

I'm sorry that I wasn't there,
For always hiding away
I say I can't deal with people
But you can
And I'm sorry for that
I'm sorry for not being able to help
I said that I tried, but did I really?
If I was better,
Smarter, kinder, more empathetic,
Would my friends still suffer?
Would I pretend to be good
Good enough for them?
I wouldn't have to
But I do
Because I'm not
I'm a waste of space
Fooling other people
You see, I don't deserve this place
Everyone else suffers
So I can be happy
And what do I give in return?
Nothing.
I take what they give me
And then I take more
But I don't give anything back
I burden them with problems
And the happy atmosphere dissipates
And what can I say
Knowing that it's all my fault?
Holidays are ruined
And pretty much all festivities
Because I can't get over myself.
If I am being honest,
I hate myself
And what I don't understand
Is why other people don't hate me too.
Or do they?
How can people say that they like or love me?
Like the popular saying goes
How can you love someone who can't love themself?
The answer is clear
You can't.
The reason why this holds true for me?
There isn't anything to love.
I can't find any good in myself
Because there is none.
This isn't self loathing
It's just the bitter harsh truth
I feel bad for everyone
Who I surround myself with
And I hate myself more.
Why take from them
What you can't get yourself?
And I ask myself
Why I steal their happiness.
I'm broken
And shattered to pieces
But some of those pieces are missing
So nobody can put me together again
And why would they want to?
They don't have to
And the other painful truth is
That the end result isn't much better than what I am now.
I'm a screw up
A waste of space
A mistake unrealised by the creators
But that's okay.
Because I know what I am.
My bad attitude
Comes with fear
But who would care about that?
Other people aren't scared
They can handle themselves
So why can't I?
Because I'm weak
And I'm worthless
And despite all this,
I still manage to hurt everyone who cares about me.
I sometimes wonder why everything had to change
Why I couldn't stay a child?
As a child I was worth something
But then I changed
And now there isn't anything left.
I love a lot of people
But I don't deserve any of them.
There's no surprise there.
I'm a bitter, broken soul,
And I can't change
So to all those I've hurt
All I can say is
I'm sorry.