I Tried Poem by Elizabeth Grace

I know there are two ways
this could go.
Either way,
I know it wasn't right.
Forgive me.
Forgive me for wanting to be
the kind of friend that
I could never be.
All that you were to me,
all that you are
is more than words could say.
I'm sorry it has gone this way.
I'll never be good enough
to deserve you as a friend.
All I do is hurt the people
I need the most.

I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough
to resist all the
things I should never
have said.

I'm sorry that I can't find enough light to survive.

I don't know if you care,
if you will ever want to understand
exactly what has led me here,
but if you ever do,
just let me remind you
that the night it was all supposed
to end
you were my only friend.
You never condemned me,
and the distance is driving
me insane. You are
so far away.

I'm sorry if you're
sick of me
always being so
melancholy.
I never wanted to be this way.

And know that when I say
I love you
it's not some ridiculous
high-school style drama.
I don't think of love that way.
I mean I love you
because you were my reason
to wake up every day
and to try harder to live - not let my life
fade away.
But more on that later. When I
write again. For now,
let me say
that I want you to let me go.
I want you to forget me,
find happiness, never
remember the person I
was or could be.
Don't remember what I meant to you,
if anything at all.
Close your eyes,
pretend it was all a dream.
When you open them again,
live.
Live like I wanted to, like I
will never get the chance to.
Live like you deserve to.

So don't call me the best.
Don't say that you
will never find another, because
you will find someone
who can bear caring
so much about you.
Someone who can hold on
even when it hurts.
You always deserved
so much more than
this cracked, broken lie
that I hid myself inside.

I'm sorry....
I tried.