If Ever I Had To Re-Write My Diary................ Poem by Nomthi Lusiti

If ever I would be asked to revisit my journey regarding you my baby
What would I change? Right now everything is perfect but
I would go back and change the date you were conceived
And wait for the day I start to be an adult not a teenager just because
Every child needs to be prepared for the day conceived.

I would trade your father for a real loving, responsible one
As every child has a right to be loved by both parents
I would change your parents for supportive ones as
Every child needs support from both parents from the day conceived
And build a bond with the parents from the same day.

One thing I would never change is the day I held you in my arms
Though a teenager I was, I fell in love with you that day
I saw my picture in you although even though you were a boy
I had nothing of mine to give you, only my breast milk.
I depended on family which also was struggling to make ends meet.

I hated our separation even most but it had to happen,
That is another thing I would very much like to change
Not that your grandma did a bad job, only that it was the
Start of the breaking of our bond, and you were only one year old
Your grandmother loved you even most, I feel jealous!

The ups and downs you went through my baby,
I would not like to dare take them back at all as
They strengthened and produced such a responsible,
Hard working and intelligent young man you grew to be today
And am proud of you, very proud my baby!

You are my strong pillar in our household,
I want you to know, that I would never trade you for anybody,
Nor for any other soul, not even the so called “perfect” person
As that does not exist in my vocabulary. You are a million times better than
Any one that I was ever close to, because you’re my baby and I will always love you!