Inner Sanctuary Poem by Melissa Ferrer

The fears have come true.
Of losing you.

What do you do
When your night mares becomes reality?

When everything isnt what it seems?
When all the time you just want to scream?

How do you learn to show your feelings...
And not mask them all inside.

How do you learn to ask for help
And lower down your pride.

Why is it when im so close to saying the truth,
That i give up in mid sentence and pull away from my youth

My innocence and youth are no longer here,
All that is present is hate, anger and fear.

I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY THEY UNDERSTAND! ! !
Even though they dont.

They dont know me.
For me.
When they look at me
They should see
A shell a mask a costume
i have made, For those who look my way

Each day i step outside
Paint a smile on my face
And the me inside, runs to hide,
while my shell glides smiles, and repeats hi!

Im so chipper,
im so Happy,
But think really how can that be? ?

Losing a mother and a sister
Would make you go insane.
How do you know it hasnt made me?
I think im losing my grasp on reality

Each day im in school
Im happy
Then i return home
and am reminded that,
I have no one to care for me
to run to me to hug me and see
that i am hurting greatly
and i need HELP.

I am constantly told to grow up
BUT HOW CAN I.
Im onlii 15 and ive already l
Lost the two most important people in my life

Talk about strife.
No one loves me for me,
no not really
how can it be...
when no one really knows.

Imma messed up headcase..
except it doesnt show
because imma great artist
and i silently paint
the image of endless bliss

But inside I feel
that my hearts no longer real.
i am held in restraint.
no one taking a complaint
Dont mean to be quaint

but im spent im putting my shell up for rent
taking a vacation....
to... reality
and see wats needed to be seen
And reflec