Invisible Man by allie boerner

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Invisible Man

Invisble man
blade in hand

His dreams were fucked up in his mind
thoughts that made him feel so blind

His dreams are drowned in a flood
for there is more to come dripping off his hand is blood

He sits in his lonely dark corner
dreaming of the day he wont have to feel this way no more

Sometimes he comes out to lurk
still lost in the dark

He lays down
so paralyzed he cant feel the cold hard ground

WHY! he screams
just why my lord why does it have to be the way it seems

He crys out until his voice is no longer there
waiting for the day he will no longer have to be in dispair

Invisible man
blade in hand

His dreams were fucked up in his mind
thoughts that made him feel so blind

His dreams are drowned in a flood
For there is more to come dripping off his hand is blood

allie boerner

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Cynozur (7/4/2008 12:44:00 AM)
a very good start, i think if you rephrase a few things to make it flow a bit better and get rid of your near rhymes this could be an excellent poem given the topic and mystery,