Ironic Differences Poem by Nashy Lamen

I feel tired, I feel bare,
I feel unusual, I feel guilt,
I’m filled with remorse,
There is this deep compunction in me.

I started thinking, thinking
While I watch the rain pour,
But I am distracted by happier thoughts
More dominant than the regret I feel.

But most likely I am affected,
Affected by trust, affected by losing it,
I watch my self tumble down into
Perplex thoughts and feelings.

I am trap, I am gone,
I am free, I am done,
I have fallen, I am broken,
I am new, I am open.

I am calm, I am negative,
I am happy, I am positive,
I am harsh, I’m confused,
I am kind, I’m unrefused.

I am masked, I am pained,
I am hopeful, I am vain,
I am worthy, I am clean,
I’m unworthy, I am mean.

I am just baffled by differences,
I am cloaked in sin,
I am drenched in happiness,
But I am masked by hurt.

And all these things,
Just keep on revolving,
And I let myself sag into more lies,
Yet more needs.