It Is Not A World Of Wonder Poem by Maurice Harris

It is not a world of wonder, or of joy;
It is a world of heartache and pain,
That no one would hope to feign-
A dark world you hope to destroy;
No words may explain this state
Of anxiety, rife with guilt and sorrow;
The only hope is that tomorrow
May gift a reprieve of this fate.
Emotions are misplaced and wrong;
Days are purposeless and painfully long,
Filled with annoyance after annoyance,
Where the only solution is avoidance.
Friendships are not valued, nor are they sought,
This avoids explanation of the baggage brought
Into your life-a gift you never wanted, but does haunt;
No matter what happens, it is never what you want.
There is no pleasure here, there is only pain-
There is only constant trauma that will never wane.
Sleep seems a foreign concept, but does not allay
The mental and physical pain you feel every day.
Now a warrior without a battle field,
You fight an enemy you cannot see,
Who inflicts wounds that cannot be healed;
All you want is the ‘old you', but this cannot be.
Your mind wanders and is perpetually scattered
And all hope of normalcy is forever shattered.
No one will ever understand your mind's tumult
And to attempt to explicate it is far too difficult.
All must be said or done in a certain way
Or you are sure to dampen another's day
With instructions on just how it was supposed to be.
There is no bend in your views, there are only breaks:
Others tire of what you opine they were "supposed" to see,
Say or do-and they will surely learn, no matter what it takes.
You are seen as rigid, even militaristic, yet cannot change-
It is up to others to adapt, though they make think you strange.
Your shame may keep you from the help you truly need,
Yet that is your only hope and you simply must accede,
And accept the inherent value in the expertise of others-
Then set about to help your Sisters and Brothers;
With your new-found knowledge, you may subdue this scourge
To allow a part of you, once thought lost, to re-emerge.


- Maurice Harris,16 December 2014