Johnny Braggart Poem by Francis Duggan

For to run to him now seems such a heavy slog
And his fastest pace to a young man a jog
He is in his mid fifties and well past his prime
And he ought to at least respect old father time.

Old Johnny the braggart his voice is so loud
One might say of himself he feels over proud
His five favourite subjects are me, myself and I
And Jenny his Mrs and Jim their teenage boy.

To make himself look younger he dyes his hair brown
And he fancies himself as a man of the Town
And he feels that younger women fancy him and he says with pride
That he's mentally strong and he resists his bit on the side.

I'm faithful to Jenny he often does say
And to my good woman devoted I'll stay
But that younger women fancy him is all in his head
There's no fool like an old fool or so it is said.

He says a cruciate ligament destroyed his football career
But from those who knew him as a young man quite different you hear
And though the injury to his knee they can readily recall
They will tell you he was not much good at football.

He is a fine athlete he will tell you so
Yet when he goes for a run his fastest pace is slow
And running to him seems a heavy old slog
And his very quickest to a young man a jog.