Laser Surgery Poem by Diana van den Berg

No, I will not have my feelings removed
for my pain is me
and life is misery
and joy is but a momentary reprieve.

I will not have my feelings removed
though my tears block my nose
and my head thunders
and my limbs are withered;
though I put my fingers in my ears
when friends recount stories I will not hear;
though I turn off the television
when I cannot face reality;
though I often wonder
if I could do my bit
for disaster victims;
though I know I stand alone;
though I repeatedly try to do
what is right
though it is unnoticed,
unappreciated,
or misinterpreted;
though I do not understand
the selfishness, thoughtlessness and cruelty
of the human race.

No, I will not have my feelings removed
for my pain is me
and life is misery
and joy is but a momentary reprieve.

I will not have my feelings removed
for I will not give up my moments
and I will make
and live
and remember
and wallow
in my moments
of birdsong
and Chopin sonatas
and Wordsworth and Longfellow
and leaf-fringed sunsets
and the bonding gaze of my horse and cat
and I will wash my feelings in my glorious moments.

No, I will not have my feelings removed.

(12 November 2000)